I recall once asking a very passionate worship pastor how to describe for me what he meant when he said he would have to “crucify himself daily.” He gave a concise one sentence reply with several links to articles from his personal arsenal of armor-building teachings, pointing me towards my own discovery of an answer. The common thread was the constant putting to death of the old ways, and a daily renewing of the new creature at the foot of the cross of Jesus.

For me, “edgingdeadness” reflects a recognition of this desire.

Philippians 3:7‭-‬8 says this, “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.”

I worshipped many things in life, ultimately myself in many indulgent ways, before I came to this desire to worship Christ, as John Piper might say, ‘to indulge myself in him.’ But in recognizing Jesus as the center of God’s Grace and Love, I must continually, and constantly desire to lose all other things before Him.

I’m hoping, through my words, to offer some fellowship to others who struggle daily with the evil desires of the flesh, whether it’s the unmentionable attraction to the same sex, or lust for the other, or whatever other temptation the enemy accuser has used against us, according to our own particular experiences.

‘Edgingdeadness’ magnifies the reality that, at least in my life, even though I may have seen some of my old ways die off, that there are apparently always new areas where my old self can resurface. Even around the edges.

I believe that the reason God has fresh and new mercies for me each morning, is that the enemy has just as many new opportunities for me to fail.

The difference is now, I’m beginning to see that each new day just brings me new opportunities to choose God, whether I have to fail first or not.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22‭-‬23)

The postings found in this site are a combination of lamentations of my own, with stories based in my life or elsewhere, some personal ‘revelations’ I think come from God’s Spirit inside me, and simply questions and ponderings. All are intended to be oriented towards ‘life-recovery’, that is, us as broken sinners in a lost world acknowledging and seeking redemption and salvation in the name of our Savior, Jesus.

Personally, my mind and heart speak in visual and tangible ways, so please be prepared for analogies and metaphors abundant!

Some postings are several years old, and re-visited from other venues, and some are new and exclusive to this site. Some come from the perspective of the beginning of my journey, some are current thoughts, and some may even project what I may expect to be perspectives from a further transitioned state, closer to the goal.

Please comment, whether it’s constructively confrontational, or supportive and encouraging. “Iron sharpens Iron.”



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