I try to take a bottle of water with me to work every day, you know, one of those stainless steel cans that don’t leach chemicals. We have a purifier and the water is nice and sweet. It may also be that I’m a little paranoid about chemicals.
I remember sitting the bottle on the passenger seat of my car as I backed out of the driveway to go to work the other day. A couple miles from home, I came to a sudden stop, and I noticed hearing it hit the floorboard as I kept my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road. (Still looking for that ‘good driver discount,’ but no luck yet).
So, when I’m about halfway to work, I get that panicky feeling that I get when I think I might have forgotten something. Apparently, I’m a little paranoid about forgetting things, too. I do the quick checklist in my mind as I frisk myself: “Keys, wallet, glasses, phone, water bottle? Water bottle?” … I look on the seat, and the water bottle’s not there.
“Where’s my water bottle?”
I start to panic, I look on the floor, I feel between the seats, it’s not there!
Then I remember hearing it hit the floorboard… Oh, yeah, that’s right!
And I am overwhelmed with the sense of reassurance, satisfaction, and peacefulness… I am comforted. Even though I can’t see it, even though I can’t feel it with my fingers between the seats, I know my water bottle is here. I can’t see it, but I know it… I just know it.
I just… know it.
Then, in a moment of clarity, I relax and sit back and think, “Well, that was really stupid! Why was I so alarmed? I knew it was here with me, I just couldn’t see it!”
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Wait a minute! I know that sense of peacefulness! I’ve experienced that comfort before, on an even grander scale!
“…Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” John 20:19
Then, I laughed out loud!
My gosh, is that what I look like to God? Do I look like such an unbelieving fool? Searching around frantically, hysterically, trying to see Him, trying to touch Him? Wondering what to do without Him? Where does this doubtfulness come from?
Do I forget that He is always right here with me? Do I forget, so easily, what his promises are? Is my life so distracting that I can turn straight from prayer and worship to a total absence of awareness?
“The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah 3:17
Do I forget that it’s my flesh who just can’t see Him, who just can’t touch him? Do I forget that I mustn’t rely on my earthly senses to affirm God’s presence? Is it so easy to forget his many attributes… his Omnipresence? His Omniscience? His Omnipotence? His Holiness? His Faithfulness?
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
This is a day in the life of a struggling Believer in Jesus, I guess.
At times… faithfully planted in belief, in trust, confident in my new identity… pursuing an intimate knowledge of God first hand and under the wing of my Deliverer and Savior, my Lord Jesus. Other times… distracted, forgetful, unaware, aimless and foolishly wandering away from my path with God.
I am forever thankful for these moments of clarity amid confusion, these whispers of assurance among the clamor, these glimpses of hope above the desolation, these flashes of light in the darkness of this life.
I pray for the continuing desire to continue desiring God.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Grace Abundant to you!